And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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