I think I died a long time ago.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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