put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
