I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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