Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
