he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
