she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
