Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
