Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
