Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
