My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
