is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
