You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She said her name was "party"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
