I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize