At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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