Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
