The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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