If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
