Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
