You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize