I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
