What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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