As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize