Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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