Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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