I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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