Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
