Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The power of my boobs compel you
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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