She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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