His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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