I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
