Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
only you would photoshop your dick
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize