Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize