hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
