you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He better not be in your backpack
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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