Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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