so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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