woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
