you would pick up someone in the library
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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