im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Randomize
