dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
