We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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