Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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