1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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