I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
