Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
