My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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