i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
