i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
