i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
