uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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