what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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