is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
