i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
