no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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