Jerry, you need to find god
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
