I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
