He asked me if I "almost moaned"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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