you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
