I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
