you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
