Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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