have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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